July 26, 2014
This week’s study is titled,
‘Pre Marriage and Beyond’
We are transitioning from last week’s topic on ‘Lust’ and next week’s on ‘Divorce and Remarriage’.
1. Whether we are single or married there are some principles in life God wants us to be following.
A. Read Philippians 4:10-14.
· What did Paul say he had learned to be in every situation? Can you relate to this? Where on a scale of 0-10 would you say you are?
· What was the secret he had learned? V.13.
· Read Philippians 4:6-9. What does Paul say not to do and the solution (v.6) and the result? (v.7) How important is how we think and what we think about (v.8) and applying what God wants us to do? (v.9) What is the result?
· How do we do all this practically? Share in your group areas you are content and areas you are not. What causes discontent?
· Discuss in your group how you can grow in these.
‘If we cannot find our contentment in our creator God and our relationship with Him, we will never find contentment in life itself, because He is the giver of life.’
B. Aim for Balance in your life
Read 1st Thessalonians 5:23. Paul refers to three parts that make up who we are. What are they?
How balanced are you in these three areas of your life?
· Our bodies need exercise, good nutrition, rest and relaxation.
· Our soul consists of…
1. Mind (what we fill our mind with and think about)
2. Will (choices we make)
3. Emotions (feelings we have)
· Our spirit which as Christians are connected to God’s Holy Spirit and commune with God.
2. Pre Marriage.
A. If you want to get married one day think about the type of person you want your future partner to be and grow to develop like this yourself.
Here are some things to consider…
· What does Jesus say in Matthew 6:33 and Paul in 1st Corinthians 10:31?
· What does Colossians 2:6-7, 2nd Peter 1:5-8, 3:18 say?
· How important is an active faith? See James 2:14-18.
· How does David say God will give us His desires? Psalm 37:4.
B. What are some non negotiables you hold to?
· A Christian. Read 2nd Corinthians 6:14-16.
· Someone of the opposite gender. Read Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27.
What are some things you think would be good ones?
· Who shares common desires/goals.
· Are there others you would add?
3. Already Married.
Following is Danny’s ‘Tips for Good Marriages’
Read through them and look up the relevant Bible verses.
1. Is God the centre of your marriage? Read Ephesians 5:21-33.
· God cannot be a tack on but the centre of all we are. Build one another up in each other’s faith and share what God is doing in your lives. Share your struggles as well.
· Pray together and for each other and your family. Read the bible and devotions together and as a family.
· Live out your faith. Your kids are supposedly reading the Bible every time they watch you and how you act. You are teaching them how Christian marriage works and how to live it out. What you do in your family they will probably do in their family.
2. Work out how you as a couple will use the money that God has blessed you with. Read 2nd Corinthians 9:6-15, Luke 16:10.
Consider tithing, charities, helping others, financial goals. Word of wisdom here, put the big rocks in first. As you only have so much money, what are the important rocks?
Don’t get too big too fast. You don’t have to have everything at the start of your marriage, like your parents had at the end of theirs!
Be sensible, wise and God honouring with your finances, being faithful in the small things you have been entrusted with.
3. Your spouse comes before….
work, children, hobbies, finances, mates / girlfriends, ministries of the church. Your wife is now, after God, your first priority. Read Ephesians 5:21-33, 6:4.
Think about any Christian couples who set an example of living a Godly marriage.
4. Don’t let the sun go down on any arguments. Read Ephesians 4:26-27.
You may not wake up to see the new dawn. Don’t stay angry long, fight fairly, no criticism, put downs, no physical contact, no sarcasm, no comparisons to other people as each other is not the enemy!
5. Communication, communication, communication.
Hot date night, book in a time together just to talk about how your marriage is going, councillor, talk feelings and emotions, reading books together eg: ‘The love Dare’. (fireproof)
Share your dreams and aspirations. How can you help your spouse be the very best they can be if you don’t know what their dreams are? How can you help them achieve them if you don’t know what they are?
6. Keep learning how to be a better spouse.
Three books I recommend every married couple to read,
· ‘Five love languages’.
· ‘Men are from mars and women are from Venus’.
· ‘Sheet Music’.
7. Take time to date and woo your spouse to keep the marriage hot.
Romance, weekend away, flowers, notes, chocolates, cleaning the bathroom or the car!
8. Take time to smell the roses and enjoy your family.
Go on holidays, walks, playing cards, walks on the beach, water fights, camping, being silly, fishing, family night, create memories. These are one of the biggest things we take into the future that is never forgotten or stolen.
Don’t wait till it’s too late to build them as good health is never guaranteed.
When was the last time you laughed at home? If home is all rules and no fun, why would your kids want to stay at home, when they can have fun with anyone else but you?
9. Work together on a project.
Help one another, learn to work with one another as a team, have a project.
10. Enjoy one another intimately. Read Luke 6:38.
Learn the art of good lovemaking and fulfilment of the other person.
Read the book ‘Sheetmusic’.
These are 10 tips that will go a long way to having a God honouring marriage, one that your children will feel safe and secure in, a marriage that you will look forward to coming home to.
It’s a marriage that will go the distance, and you will both be there to enjoy your grandchildren.
And the very last point….
Never, never give up. Failure is not an option. Marriage does just get better and better, the longer and harder you work on it!